My Gosforth Cross
by E.S. Moore
Summary: Loki had just returned from Midgard, cuffed and muzzled. I had resigned myself to never see him again, but everything changes when the ghost of my past returns to taunt me. Can I turn away from him now, the moment he needs me the most, even if he doesn't realize it? This is the story of Loki and Sigyn, the couple that seemed to be least likely, and their great fight.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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Loki Odinson had returned to Asgard. Now, naturally, I knew that he would be different. He wouldn't be the Loki that I knew before. I hoped he was, but I couldn't be sure until I'd seen him. There had been terrible rumours about what he'd done on Midgard, but the facts had been carefully concealed and guarded. Loki was, after all, a Prince. It wouldn't do to have the truth out there for the 'common people' to have. Truth was a valuable object and we wouldn't know what to do with it.

We all mourned when Loki fell from the Bifrost, but none more than his family. Thor locked himself away for a fortnight and when he finally emerged, he was changed. He was subdued, more introspective. But he'd come to terms with the fact that Loki was lost. I never could. My life seemed to stop and my heart seemed to shut off. I went back to see Thor once, but the truth was that we never really got along well. He was very sweet and generous since his experience on Midgard, but he knew who I was. I was just a reminder of his lost brother.

"Sigyn, how are you faring?" I looked up from the novel I wasn't really reading in the garden to see my good friend, Mayln, striding purposefully towards me.

"I am well, how are you?" I closed my book gently and laid it aside.

"I saw him, Sigyn. Prince Loki. There was a great commotion at the Bifrost and I went to see and I saw him!" She told me excitedly and sat on the bench beside me.

"Really? Was he well?" I tried to sound only mildly interested.

"No, not at all! He was thin and had this hunted sort of expression. He was bound and gagged, but his eyes were so dark, Sigyn. He looked so sad." She seemed only inclined to give me that much information, and settled back in her seat.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"I don't know. They took him into the Palace and probably to a cell somewhere. I hope it'll hold him." She replied.

"I'm sure it will, Marlyn. He won't escape and murder you while you sleep, if that's what you're worried about." I rolled my eyes and stood.

"He could do it." She sniffed and tossed her hair. She was my exact opposite in appearance, while I had a peachy sort of complexion, she had pale porcelain skin. I had long, golden curls, and she had inky black locks. My eyes were a deep, ocean blue, and hers were a dark violet shade that was incredibly rare to Asgard. She was a sensation, I was tolerably pretty. I didn't like to dwell on those sorts of things, though. It could hardly encourage friendly affection.

"Are you going to go see him?" I inquired casually.

"And risk him using his magic to possess me? I think not." She scoffed half-heartedly.

"I've never known him to use magic to possess anybody." I reasoned.

"He's different now, Sigyn. Don't forget that." She looked at me soberly.

"I understand. I merely want to see him one last time. I need that closure." I stood straight and walked closer to her. "Just one last time." She sighed and stood, also.

"Would you like me to go with you, or distract your mother?" She smirked.

"Whatever you wish, mother won't notice I'm gone, she's used to me going out riding for hours at a time." I grinned and turned to leave.

"Be careful, Sigyn." Marlyn warned me. I turned and walked backwards, facing her.

"I always am!" I laughed and left the garden with a giddy, anxious feeling.

I walked around the front of our ostentatious house and towards the stables. We - my mother and I - were of the upper-crust in Asgardian society. As such, we were allowed perks, like a magnificent house and grounds, stables, our own lake, and enough servants to care for it all. My mother was just about a princess, without the official title. I adored our own little secluded land, I needn't socialize or be around people. It was like Valhalla.

The stable was very small and homely compared to the ornate Palace stables, but I preferred the cozy, musty smelling wood building. I had my own horse, Firefoot, whom I'd had since I was child. He was a light dun with dark points and a wild look. He was beautiful, and looked like a horse figurine, but he was also sturdy and sure. He had seen me through countless adventures and hijinks. He was one of my best friends. I entered the stable and smiled at the groom. He was an old man, but his son was working to take over the job. They both knew I preferred to tack Firefoot myself and so let me be. He was snorting impatiently when I entered his stall; he despised being cooped up. I slipped his halter over his nose and tied him up. There wasn't a tack room exactly, there were racks all across a wall with saddles and blankets. Tables were underneath for anything else. I grabbed a saddle pad, put it on top of a saddle, and took them both to Firefoot. I flung the pad on his back and set the saddle over that. After adjusting the fit and cinching I grabbed a bridle and walked him outside. After putting the bit in his mouth I swung onto his back and rode off toward the palace.

* * *

I arrived sooner than I thought, or maybe it just felt sooner, given that my thoughts had been swirling around in a great cacophony in my head. I dismounted and handed Firefoot off to a groom that had hastened toward me. Climbing the opulent stairs to the Palace seemed to take a lifetime. Loki was in there. My heart raced. He was so close.

I entered the Palace, but didn't go to the Throne room or any populated area. I didn't want to explain myself to the family. I couldn't explain myself, anyway. I walked silently down hallways and passages that I hadn't been in since my youth. There was a door ahead that had a staircase leading downwards. I could start there. Everything was so golden, so rich and polished, It was like looking at the sun. I hurried to the corner that boasted the door and tried the handle. It swung open and I looked down the stairs with trepidation. It smelled dank as I walked in and shut the door behind me. The floor and walls were made of stone that seemed to be perpetually wet. Mold grew in patches and I'm sure some was transferred to the hem of my sky blue dress.

I emerged in a large room. There was another door across from me which must have been the more conventional, clean entrance. There was nothing but a wall to my left, and to my right was a huge, glass-encased cell. It appeared homey enough. There was a bed and reading material. But it was not the décor that caught my attention. It was the caged animal inside.

"I see you've not changed." It spoke from it's dark recesses.

"I'm sure you have." I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Indeed. Some must change." It spoke as an enigma.

"Must they? Is change involuntary, then?" I remembered the old Loki, and how he'd be amused by that.

"Nothing is voluntary." The voice was empty, hollow. "Are you here to mock me? Thor is undoubtedly at some feast or other, he'd surely be a much better target for your wit."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth. That was the Loki I remembered. I walked forward and didn't stop until I was very close to the glass.

"But you and I both know that you were always more fun to mock. At least you understood when someone was making fun of you."

"You will not address me in such a way." He sounded bitter and angry.

"I understand, Prince. Accept my humblest of apologies." I tried to not sound completely hurt by his abrasiveness. But what had I expected?

"You have no need to be here, Lady." He waved me away and turned to pick up and read a book.

"Why are you acting like this? You are not the Prince I knew before." I knew those were the wrong words as soon as they left my mouth.

"I am not acting as anything. You should not question your Prince." He spat. "You are not the girl you were before. So quick to judge my indiscretions and yet so loathe to remember your own. I have not forgotten you, nor have I forgotten your ways. You would do anything to keep my 'family' from hearing of the shameful things you've done." He smirked as though he'd already won.

"You never understood me, Prince. It was not what it seemed. But you don't care about that, do you? What matters is that you have some sort of leverage against me, to use me as your puppet. I don't care what you tell the King and Queen. I know that I am not a shameful creature. If you ever cared enough to listen to what I had to say, you'd know that. If you knew me at all, you'd know that." I glared at him, angry that he was digging up an old fight when he was the one who'd just killed countless people, if the rumours proved true.

"The people that have to explain the most have the most to hide." He answered sagely.

"Then you must have to explain yourself all the time." I bit back.

"Not to people like you." He turned away from me. It was over. He wouldn't speak to me again.

"You're not that different now, Loki. I mean, My Prince. You don't mean what you're saying." I said softly. I could only hear his dark, sadistic chuckles. I hung my head sadly and slowly turned to leave the way I came. The large doors behind me creaked open and, knowing that I absolutely did not wish to be caught here, I hurried to my small doorway, glanced back at Loki one more time, and shut the door behind me. I didn't realize until I was halfway up the staircase that I hadn't seen his face once. He'd never stepped into the light. Instinctively, he didn't want me to see him, what he had become. I shivered and continued on.

* * *

**A/N: I really shouldn't be writing this, considering I haven't finished my Les Mis fic, but I really wanted to do it. I hope you all like it! I was browsing through and noticed there wasn't much for Sigyn in here and decided I wanted to change that. :) **

**I hope it's good so far! Please review if you like! I'd love that. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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_It was the morning before Loki fell from the Bifrost._ _I woke at the same time as usual: later than I should. Today was the day that I would go see him. He was certain that he was the new King, because Odin King was not well and Thor was still on Midgard. I was going to try to convince him that he wasn't right for this. Loki was not meant to rule, he should leave that to Thor and be the advisor. The Lady Sif had also mentioned that Loki had kept Thor from coming back. I couldn't accept that. Loki may have cowed her and the Warriors Three, but I wasn't afraid of him. He had power now, yes, but he wouldn't hurt me. We had been dear friends since childhood, if there was anyone left on Asgard whom he'd listen to, it would be me. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought that this was necessary. He thought that his parents would be proud. _

_I went through my usual morning routine, wash my face and hair, put on a gold satin gown, and called a servant in to arrange my hair and bring my breakfast. I __put an ornate comb that Loki had given me for my birthday in my hair and went on my way. I walked into our Morning room to greet my mother, Freya, and kiss her on the cheek. I told her I was going to visit Loki and she gave me leave with her blessing. I smiled and left to find the groom and have him put tack on Firefoot._

_My ride to the castle was uneventful and slow, even as I urged Firefoot to a gallop, I didn't care if it mussed my hair. As I rode through the market I ignored the awkward looks and glances from my fellow Aesir. I was always treated differently, Loki and I were the strange ones. They treated him worse, though. At least they tried to make pleasant conversation with me. I even had friends; he just had me and Thor. I arrived and handed Firefoot off to a groom, making sure he was treated well. The Palace was nearly empty, Loki's presence must have driven normal beings out. The rustling of my gold gown and click of my riding boots were the only sounds in the Hall as I walked to the Throne Room. The nervous tension welled in my stomach as I drew nearer and nearer. I hoped this wouldn't change things for us, it was no reflection on my feelings for him. I entered the magnificent, ostentatious room as quietly as I could and turned to face the personation of my thoughts._

_"I did not expect you here" His voice resonated from the large gold throne meant for Odin._

_"I could not stay away, My Prince." I smiled and curtsied at the door. _

_"Is something the matter, Sigyn?" He stood and came forward, to the edge of the steps. I walked until I was at the base of the small stairwell._

_"There is, My Prince. I have heard vicious rumours about your dealings with Thor. Are they to be believed?" I gave him a chance, a possibility to do the right thing and repent._

_"It depends on what the rumours have said." He smiled down at me, "And I am your King now, Sigyn, not your Prince." He said it gently, but the haughty tone was still there, an undercurrent to it all._

_"Loki, this isn't right. You were not chosen to be King. Thor was, so let him come back. Let him rule as he's been trained to do and leave this be! This is not your place." I tried to reason with him._

_"This is not my place? Sigyn, if I don't rule here in the All-Fathers place, who will? I cannot bring Thor back, it would be spitting on the decrees of my Father. You needn't worry for me. I will rule justly." He seemed sincere. _

_"Thor is who should legally be here, Loki. Your Father would want him here in his stead." _

_"Why not me?" He cried, "Why is it to always be Thor? Can I not do as well as him, even to you? You, who always seemed to be on my side! I have no one, Sigyn. Not even you." _

_"Loki, that's not fair. I believe you'd make a good King, but Thor was chosen. You must respect that. I think Thor would be a better King." I hadn't raised my voice once, I knew that my lack of feeling would help Loki. He would realize that these dramatics weren't necessary._

_"I wanted you to be my Queen." He said softly and descended the stairs slowly. My heart leaped, my head ached, and tears sprang to my eyes, all in less than a minute. _

_"Don't say that." Was all I could whisper as he came ever closer._

_"Why shouldn't I? Sigyn, don't listen to all of them. Lady Sif doesn't know or understand anything that's happened between my brother and I. I thought you understood." His voice was so easy to listen to and believe. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't fall under this spell he was weaving. He took my hand gently and kissed it._

_"This isn't right. You can't do this to Thor or Asgard. Loki, please just stop this!" I was pleading now, practically begging him to give this all up and return to normalcy. He straightened and looked at me squarely._

_"I can't stop it now." Was all he told me. I nodded in finality and wrenched my hand from his._

_"You ignorant, pompous, arrogant, cold, louse! How can you be so cruel! You have hurt not only the nine realms, but your very friends and brother. This will not be forgotten, Loki. This isn't a game! How could you?" I cried and stepped away from him. He gazed at me with that pitiful look that I could never ignore. But I had to._

_"Sigyn - " He began._

_"No, stop! I will not be your queen, Loki. Not like this." I was shaking from it all now. I raised my chin and swept out of the Throne Room in the most dignified manner I could. _

* * *

_That was the last time I saw him. I felt so empty when I heard that he was gone. I didn't realize until much later, as I was mulling over our last conversation for the seventy-second time, that when Loki said he couldn't stop this, he meant it. He always meant exactly what he said, and this time was no different. He didn't tell me he wouldn't stop, he told me he couldn't. I hoped that he didn't mean that there was a puppet master somewhere pulling his strings. I never imagined him to be a puppet, but perhaps he was forced. This year has given me much to think about and conspire over. There is something worse than death, dear reader, and that is the absence of it. When you don't know whether someone is truly gone from you forever, or whether there is a chance - however slight - that you will see them again. They may be living their days out somewhere in happiness while you stay behind and mourn. Believe me when I say I mourned, my love had gone away from me. I never knew whether he loved me back, maybe he just was in need of a Queen and I was convenient. That was uncharitable, I know, but I couldn't help but wonder. I only knew one thing for those long years we were apart; wherever Loki was, alive or dead, my heart had gone with him._

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**A/N: So there's the second chapter! I'm doing my best to set it up so far and explain a bit of their history. :) Please follow and review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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I walked about the market after leaving the Palace. I didn't wish to return home at present. My thoughts were a muddle and I needed some time to myself. It was difficult to lead Firefoot through the throng of Aesir, but I didn't wish to ride. The wooden stalls of the vendors selling their exotic wares helped to calm me. There was a stall that I frequented that sold pelts and jewelry made of bone. The owner was an elderly man by the name Ymir, who had been very kind to me since I was a child.

"Good afternoon!" I stopped and greeted him. He looked up from his furs and smiled toothily at me.

"Afternoon, Sigyn. What brings you here?" He knew I didn't come often, and when I did it was always on the second day of the week.

"I came to visit a friend. He just returned from...Niflheim." I made up.

"Ah, well I hope he had a pleasant journey! Someone else arrived in Asgard today, Loki Odinson." He peered at me, gauging my reaction. I smiled.

"Really? Well, I hope he had a pleasant journey." I smirked coyly.

"You never were a forthcoming lady, were you?"

"Not when being forthcoming was preferable."

He smiled and nodded at me before turning to help another customer. I fingered the pelts appreciatively. I had always loved the feeling of furs, a blanket was a pure necessity, even if I didn't have one. My mother thought they were mothy, nasty things suitable only for Jotun's. I waved to Ymir and walked away, towards my home. Once I was away from the crowd I mounted Firefoot and walked him easily along the way.

"Lady Sigyn!" Someone called from behind me. I turned to see Baldr riding his Stallion after me. I swung Firefoot around to meet him.

"What is the matter, My Prince?" I called. He loped towards me and reined to a halt a few feet in front of me.

"Nothing is the matter, Lady. We heard that you were at the castle and left unescorted. Mother was worried for you and I offered to rectify the situation." He flashed a sunny smile my way. For being Loki's younger brother, he was the exact opposite in every way. He had golden colored hair, and a youthful, innocent face. He was small compared to Thor, but still masculine. I had never spent much time around him, Loki never got along with him much. Baldr was the apple of his mothers eye and Thor was the heir. Loki was left to fit in where he could.

"Your offer is very kind, Prince. I can handle myself, though. I've ridden this way countless times, it's nothing to worry about. Thank you, though." I smiled and waited for him to return the way he'd come. You never turn away from the Royalty. But this royal didn't leave me be, he looked at me as though I'd spoken the dwarven language, _Voluspa. _

"Milady, you are very pretty, and noticeably of high birth. I must protect and escort you on your journey home." Baldr employed some sort of misguided chivalry.

"You do me much credit, My Prince, but in all my time on Asgard I've never needed an escort." I tried to reiterate my independence in a different way. It was just like trying to reason with Loki.

"My mother deems it appropriate for me to escort you." He repeated. He had a skull as thick as Thor's.

"Alright." I conceded. I was tired and just wanted my home and a cup of tea. He smiled radiantly at me and took point. I followed quietly and focused on nothing but the scenery about me and the rhythm of Firefoot's movements.

" - and it seems to me that it's a heavy punishment for him, especially seeing as Loki is still a member of the family. Even if he did do bad things, he's still our brother." I only heard the last of his monologue, obviously this was weighing heavily on his mind.

"What sort of punishment was he to receive?" I inquired.

"The typical punishment is to spend his incarceration underneath the Serpent of Skaoi, but even that is rather harsh to Mother's tastes." He informed me. My heart skipped a beat and my chin fell. The Serpent was the greatest, most painful of punishments imaginable for an Aesir. It's venom would kill any mortal within thirty seconds, but we have a lower mortality threshold, and so can survive the pain. We must bear every critical moment of agony until the sentence is over.

"Will he stand trial?" I asked with trepidation.

"My Father has decided that there will be a formal trial, he is too biased in the eyes of the Asgardians to make a fair choice."

"How long does he believe the sentence will be?"

"It's undecided." He seemed to shut down then. I nodded and returned to my own business. How would I be able to live knowing that Loki was in such anguish? I had lost him once, I couldn't stand by and watch him nearly die again.

* * *

Baldr rode with me until I was in sight of the house, turned, and left abruptly. I looked after him quizzically, went to the stables, and handed Firefoot to the groom. My dress was soiled from the dirty streets so I went inside to freshen up and change. I was to always look like a perfect lady. I picked flowers on the way in to put in my long hair. Mother would be pleased that I put forth such effort. I went to my white and gold colored room, took off my boots, and loosed my hair. I pulled off my dress, pulled out a light blue dressing gown, and slid it on over my chemise. I didn't plan on going out anymore and wanted to simply sit outside and read my book. There was a great Library near the Palace, and there were great Midgardian tales there. I loved reading those stories of far off places and people. My newest find was a relatively new novel called, "Pride and Prejudice" by a woman by the name of Jane Austen. It was dreadfully fanciful and romantic and something Loki would generally ridicule and laugh at me for, but I loved it. I picked it off my bed and went down to find my mother.

There was always a mutual love and affection between my mother and I. Although she sometimes didn't approve of my actions and I didn't approve of her social ladder-climbing ways, we were all each other had. I knew that I could always go to her and she would always love me, no matter what. We were small, but we were a family.

"Sigyn?" I heard her voice from the garden. I walked into the Sitting Room and through the large arches that led to a fenced patio and turned to the stairs that led down to the garden. She was sitting on a bench, under a flowering tree.

"Hello, mother." I smiled and greeted.

"How was he?" She looked at me with a sparkle in her eye. I never told her I was going to see him, but she always seemed to know.

"He's not well. He may have to serve his sentence under the Serpent of Skaoi." I told her sadly, I couldn't hide my feelings from my mother.

"Oh, dear! I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do?" She stood and took my hands.

"I haven't any idea. He's just recently returned and he's not entirely...himself." I grimaced and sunk onto the bench.

"I'm sure that all will be well. Just have some hope." She smiled at me, sat near me, and rubbed my back.

"Yes, but mother, what if all is not well? He could be very hurt and I can't watch that." I looked at her for wisdom and comfort.

"Don't think the worst, dear. You must hope for the best and prepare for the worst. That doesn't mean you should dwell on every bad thing that could occur. I am sure that Odin King would not let anything permanently damaging happen to Loki. You seem to forget that they are family, and the King won't be able to bear something terrible happening to any of his children, even adoptive ones." She comforted me.

"But he's so sad, Mother! What if this breaks his heart for good? What if I lose him completely to darkness?" I cried.

"You won't. You're both stronger than you believe. His heart will mend and I have no doubt that you will not allow him to turn to dark ways. I know you, darling. You'll kill him as soon as let that happen." She teased me. I sat in silence for awhile, calming and controlling my feelings. I was never emotional in front of anybody except my mother. She brought my feelings out. I was usually very stoic and unflappable, but she was my mother and therefore the person I trusted most in all the nine realms.

"All will be well, dear. Worry about it not." She soothed. I nodded and sighed deeply. Deciding I was tired of my dramatics I straightened and gave a watery smile.

"I understand, Mother. Please forgive me, I did not mean to cry. We will sort this out, will we not? You're completely right, all will be well." I laughed lightly and smoothed my hair. "He will be well, even if he must lie beneath the Serpent."

"He will, indeed, darling. He is much stronger than any of us supposed." My mother smiled.

"I know he is, mother."

"Would you like some herbal tea? We have fresh mint from the garden." She offered kindly and stood from the bench. I nodded and looked up at her sincerely.

"I'll come in a few minutes. I need to collect my thoughts." I told her in a questioning lilt.

"Of course, dear. Don't be too long. I'll have the tea waiting." She smiled and patted my head gently. I stood and walked in the opposite direction of our house, towards the lake and flower garden. There were large, willow like trees on the side of the lake towards the house, and a large, dense forest lined the opposite shore. Our flower garden nearly abutted the lake, and was rather large, with rock pathways, wooden benches, and a hedge maze complete with a fountain in the center. I'd always loved this garden, it was much more formal and impractical compared to the herb and vegetable garden behind the kitchen. Everything had their use, but the pretty things were always much more inspiring. My heart felt light amongst the colors and scents abounding as I walked through all of the flowers and flowery trees known to creation. I enjoyed walking here immensely. There was no one else within eyesight and not a sound to be heard that wasn't serene and natural. I liked feeling alone. It made me feel more important somehow, as though all of the Aesir that spent their time looking down on me had disappeared and I could live my life perfectly happy.

I meandered to the center of the tall maze and sat on the ledge of the fountain. My thoughts were muddled and yet completely blank, I had come to peace with everything and so it was time to move on from it. I ran my fingers through the cool water behind me and looked up to the sky. It was always a sunset in Asgard. I've heard that the sky was different in each of the realms and I've decided to see all of them. I watched the stars flicker and the colors of the universe dance. I wished I could dance with them. I could leave all this behind and waltz with the stars for the rest of eternity, never having to see or hear or talk to another soul again.

I sat there, thinking nonsense, for much longer than I had anticipated. By the time I snapped from my reverie it was nearly time for supper. I knew by the chill in the air. There was a strict rule in our household, one must always be on time for meals. I bolted from the fountain and ran all the way back to the house in as ladylike a way I could.

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter finished! It was more of a set up, establish character chapter, but there it is. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

_It was a warm, bright Summer morning. I was walking back from the market after running errands for my Mother, while Loki escorted me home, as was our habit. We were but children then, never a care or worry. We had walked silently and companionably for awhile when I felt something tickle my neck. I brushed at it with the back of my hand. _

_It tickled again. I brushed it._

_Again, that irritating feeling assaulted my neck. I whirled around to see Loki behind me, hand suspended in midair, looking at me sheepishly. But, alas, the apologetic stance was an act, for he dropped the ruse and rushed towards me._

_ "Don't you dare!" I gasped, skipping back from the dark haired boy in front of me. He smoothed his hair back and seemed to concentrate. I stopped and stared, cocking my head in a puzzled manner. He held his hands out, palms up, as water appeared in his hands and swirled. I giggled and clapped. The water started to solidify, creating a beautifully sculptured rose. _

_"For you, Sigyn." He held it out for me. I took it gingerly in my hands and marveled at the intricacy and thoughtfulness of the gift. It was cliché, as I understood it, but I didn't care. He'd made it for me, and I was the luckiest girl in all Asgard. I was young, probably fifteen at that time, and didn't quite comprehend the emotions colliding inside me, but I knew that I liked him. He was different, like me. Nobody understood or accepted him, like me. We were the same. _

_"Thank you, Loki. It's very kind." I smiled and continued walking in front of him, cradling the ice figure reverently. He didn't reply, so I continued on and let him be._

_"We grow up when we come to realize that the monsters don't hide under our beds, they live inside us." He spoke darkly from behind me. He was a very strange boy, I knew, but I didn't mind it. No monsters lived inside me. _

* * *

My memories were plaguing me ever since he returned. I couldn't stop the deluge of emotions and feelings that I had long ago buried. It was a few nights after I had seen him and I couldn't sleep. It was late, I knew that much. My eyes were heavy and my body lethargic, but my mind was alert and kept me from my blissful slumber. I walked listlessly down the hall, my nightgown billowing behind me. The tall windows rose up to my right and showcased the Asgardian sky. Everything was dark and silent so I tried to make my footsteps the same. I slowly found my way to the drawing room, with a perfect view of the moonlit garden. I was lonely and languorous.

I missed him. I'd heard somewhere that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and until now, it had the opposite effect. I loathed him because it was easier than missing him so much I felt I would burst. But since he had returned from Midgard I found I couldn't be mad at him. I had always been like that; I could get very angry, but as soon as I saw him I found it difficult to stay livid. As soon as I saw him today I forgot to breathe. I was still angry, as this wasn't the usual, trivial spat. This was him leaving me to rot without even a goodbye.

"What's kept you awake this late, Lady?" I looked over my shoulder to see a young man, probably about my age, standing in the doorway. I turned completely and furrowed my brows skeptically. I'd never seen him before, it was very late at night, and the house was completely silent. Nobody else was awake. I trained my posture into one of confidence and poise.

"Who are you?" I inquired as though asking a question over tea, not interrogating a man in my home where I was completely alone in the middle of the night.

"I am Agmund Aricson. Your mother invited my family to stay with you, and I came ahead. Please forgive the lateness of my arrival; I underestimated the time it would take to get over the mountain range." He bowed grandly to me.

"Your father is Aric? How do you know my mother?" I pressed.

"Yes, My mother and yours were apparently friends as children and they wanted to see how well our families got along."

"Mother never told me of you." I told him dubiously.

"Did she not? She never mentioned her friend Borghild?" He asked.

I had heard the name before, now that I thought about it. It seemed to trigger memories of my mother talking about a girlhood friend of hers and their happy times together. Nothing in particular came to me, but I knew subconsciously that the man was either telling the truth or had learned very much of my past. I didn't want to think of the latter option, but it seemed to plague me.

"Perhaps she did. Can you tell me of your mother?" I tested airily, slowly walking around the opulent furniture and running my hands along the backs of sofas casually.

"She was the daughter of an Ironsmith in the village yonder. She had three brothers and met your mother when she was very young. They became like sisters and spent every waking moment together. Unfortunately, they parted ways when my mother married an ambassador to Niflheim and your mother went to the Great Library to receive teaching. That is what I know of our mothers relationship." He spoke softly.

"That is what I know, also. I will go inform my mother of your arrival and arrange for a room. Please, sit down." My voice was harsher than I anticipated and the polite words sounded demanding and cold.

But I didn't care. I breezed from the room and nearly ran to my mother. I entered her room without knocking, went to her side, and shook her shoulder gently.

"Mama." I whispered, "Mama, wake up." She stirred and opened her eyes into mine, "Agmund Aricson has arrived and needs rest."

She sat upright and her spine snapped ramrod straight.

"Well, have you made him welcome?" She grumbled.

"I've done my best." I answered mechanically.

"Give him the Blue room and tell him breakfast is at eight. I needn't be bothered with this." She seemed to lose the urgency of her welcome in the prevailing tiredness that flooded her head.

I left her alone and went to the drawing room to find our guest. He'd sat in my favorite chair facing the garden, with his bags tossed haphazardly to the side. I didn't get too close, instead maintaining my twenty-five foot radius I employ for anyone to distrust. I cleared my throat and picked up some of his luggage gingerly.

"I will show you your room now, Agmund Aricson." I told him curtly and left to walk to the Blue Room, not bothering to see if he had followed. If he wished to sleep comfortably tonight, he would walk after me. I stopped at the room and dropped the bag unceremoniously on the ground, "Breakfast is at eight."

"Thank you." Was the response I received before walking quickly to my own bed. I was so very tired suddenly. Sleep would surely put me in a better mood, especially after my emotionally charged day. I remember not what happened next, I was too exhausted, all I know is that the next morning I awoke in my bed, with the dressing gown crumpled on the floor and my candle burned out on my bedside table.

* * *

Agmund was a true gentleman to the core. He smiled and made polite remarks and my mother adored him. I found that poking fun of people was generally looked upon as rude and unladylike, but it made life bearable. I ate breakfast with them in a rush, I had much to do today and very little time to do it in. I hastily tied a ribbon in my hair, tugged a lacy shawl on, and smoothed my skirts. After my primping was over I rushed from the house and down the lane.

My mother had given over her position at the Library to me a few months before this account, and I worked there every afternoon, after my studies were over. I was a teacher for the Head Librarian, and I did any odd and end jobs he bothered to give me. I loved it, but it proved to be a rather taxing enterprise. I spent more than ten hours a day away from home, and it took quite a toll on me. Never mind the fact that I suffered intense romanticism and imagined Loki waiting for me around every bookshelf. But that was nothing new, I had dealt with all this before. I studied until noontime and went into the Library to offer my services. I was already tired from my studies and the late night drama, but this was necessary to be done.

"Next time you're going to be late send a messenger." Was his abrupt greeting as I entered his small, ornate office.

"I will, forgive me." I ducked my head meekly while noting that it was only five minutes past noon.

"There is a cart outside the door of books that need to be shelved. When you're done with that come see me." He never looked up from the letter he had been writing. I nodded and left quietly. The cart was right where he said so I pushed it in front of me to the front of the Library. In Midgard I hear the libraries are rather dull and lifeless, but I can assure you it is quite different on Asgard. There are pillars lining the walls and the ceiling is so high it was in another atmosphere. Or, well, I liked to believe it was. I started shelving the books and mentally cursed that their sections weren't anywhere near each other. But then I reminded myself that this was a good experience for me and I shouldn't complain. There was a banging from a few shelves down and I rushed to see what was the matter. It was a little barn goblin flinging books from the shelves and throwing them in all four corners. I sighed and grabbed a decorative spear from a suit of armor at the end of the shelf. Walkign towards the goblin I thrust it towards him and narrowed my eyes.

"Get out, imp! Your kind aren't welcome here, go back to your refuse heap!" I cried, flinging my spear around.

"What are you doing?!" Came an outraged cry from behind me. I turned to see the Head Librarian standing, face red and eyes dark, before me.

"I'm trying to make the goblin leave." I explained.

"That's not important right now! Shelve books!" He commanded. I nodded, put the spear back, and walked back to my cart of books. I heard a murmured incantation and strangled cry from behind me and tried not to think about what had happened. Barn goblins were pests and generally resided in barns and sheds, but occasionally found their way to more populated areas to wreak havoc. Although they were pesky and annoying, I still thought it was morbid to kill them on sight. But that was the way of our society. Nobody spared it a second thought. I reminded myself again that this was a good experience for me and I shouldn't complain. I continued shelving until the day was done.

And that is an average day for me. I lived, I breathed, I endured. I walked to the dungeon mindlessly.

"You came back?" His voice intoned.

"Of course." I acted as though seeing him were an everyday occurrence.

"You shouldn't." He looked at me as though I were an experiment.

"Since when do I listen to you, Prince?" I teased. He seemed unamused, but grinned at me anyway. It made me uncomfortable, "Are you aright?"

"Oh, I'm fine. But how are you feeling?" He asked, suddenly interested in my well being. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"I heard you have a visitor." He responded suggestively.

"Indeed, but I do not see how that could mean the slightest thing to you."

"I also heard he intends to make you his bride." He smoothly transitioned from a safe subject to one that I would not tolerate. And his grin told me he knew it.

"That's none of your business, Loki."

"Ah, the lady uses my name. There must be some shred of truth to warrant such a response. Have you found some man who'll take you at last? Miracle of miracles. Does he know the things you've done? Does he know who you really are?" He gazed at me darkly. He'd struck me where it hurt most, and it was the most painful thing I'd endured since he left. All it took was a few of his words.

"You dare? I need not prove myself to you! I have made peace with my past. Perhaps it's time you did, also! There have been many men seeking my hand, don't you mistake that. I am more than what I've done. If you can't see that then the fault is not mine." I finished, nearly crying. I turned on my heel and walked away with my quivering chin held high.

"Sigyn." His voice was low and sad.

I couldn't turn back. Some scars hurt too much.

* * *

**A/N: I planned on having another explanatory flashback, but I have to leave soon for my 8:30 showing of Thor! So, that'll be saved for later. :) Hope you all liked, please review. I want my writing to get better and I would love constructive criticism. :D Have a great 3 day weekend! If you get one. I have to work. yaaaaayyyy. **


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